I had to buy a new hairdryer, which means I stood in an aisle for twenty minutes while my brain flooded with questions:
If this one dries three times as fast and this one dries fifty percent faster, which one actually wins? Three doesn’t go into five, so is this just math I don’t understand? And what are they faster than? Air? Wind? My husband pursing his lips and blowing on my hair?
And is faster good? Or bad? How fast is so fast that curls become a giant ball of frizz? Would I look like I electrocuted myself? Is looking like I electrocuted myself okay if I spend less time doing it?
What exactly is an ion, anyway? Does my hair actually have an ion deficiency?
What does a fifty-dollar hairdryer do, anyway? I mean, if it will dry my hair in my sleep, I might spend the fifty bucks. My other hairdryers have seen that as a fire or shock hazard. Maybe this one has a different design?
And then, finally, . . . which color is the prettiest?
Because that’s the only question I could actually answer.
And I want to be an educated shopper.