All’s Fair

I’m a day late on posting, but I have a nasty cold with all the necessary requirements — the oversized head, the leaking eyes and nose, the narrowing throat passage, the twice-as-heavy-as-normal limbs. And, yes, that is a blatant attempt at sympathy.

Did I manage to squeeze any out of you?

Because I haven’t got managed to earn any at home, where, in response to my constant sniffs and unintelligible, nasal mutterings, I get, “That’s too bad, Mom, what’s for dinner?”

But sharing my little tale of woe is also my explanation for why you are getting an old story today from another time I was sick way back in 2000…

As other parents, we have tried to teach Elder that the deciding factor on whether or not to engage in certain behavior is “being nice.” And Elder has decided that we have apparently not learned the lesson we are attempting to teach. So, when we make a parental decision for Elder with which he does not agree, he informs us, “It’s not nice to” do whatever we have said.

This morning, he did not want to leave the house, so I heard a litany of “It’s not nice to not wake me up early” and “It’s not nice to make me wear pants” and so forth and so on.

On a side note, this was my first day back to work after being home for three days with a stomach virus. And I did my wifely duty and shared my germs with my husband, so he spent last night on the sofa. Because of that and because the boys and I were in the bedroom for most of the morning, he missed the majority of Elder’s little bits of wisdom.

However, he managed to catch the last few segments of “It’s not nice…” and witnessed the snap of my patience when I spun on my heel and interrupted Elder in mid-sentence to claim, “Elder, I am tired of your lectures. Get your clothes on.”

My poor sick husband lay on the sofa, on his side and facing the back cushions, fortunately for him because I could not see his face. But I did notice his shoulders shaking with silent laughter – too sick to help but healthy enough to have a sense of humor.

I suppose that’s fair, as I was healthy enough to help but too sick to have a sense of humor.

But, if I had had a sufficiently light but satisfactorily heavy object handy, I would have hit him squarely in the back with it.

And I would have thought that perfectly fair, too.


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