Earlier this week, we had to take Thirteen and Seven to the veterinarian, and all the men in my house made sure the two knew exactly who they should blame for the upcoming invasion of their manhood.
“Whatever happens tomorrow,” my husband murmured to them as he scratched their ears, “blame Mom.”
“I told her not to,” Younger sympathized with them, as he stroked their backs. “I’m sorry. She wouldn’t listen.”
So the two cats had to spend the night trapped in the bedroom with my husband and me and without food and water. So to keep them from sprinting for water as soon as they escaped the bedroom, I had Younger position himself outside the door.
“You ready,” I asked, bending to scoop Seven into my arms.
“Yep,” Younger said from his side of the door.
I wrapped my fingers around the door handle. “You sure?”
“Yep,” Younger repeated, brimming with confidence.
I opened the door, immediately having to wrap both arms around Seven who was wriggling frantically in my hold. But I still caught sight of the black streak hitting the stairs at about thirty miles an hour. And Younger, reacting a few seconds too late, straightening to his feet to hit the stairs at about two miles an hour.
“You had one job, Younger,” I told him as we urged the reluctant cats into the carriers. “One job.”
“Mom,” he told me, shaking his head. “I was crouched down, ready for a grounder. That cat bounced at the wrong time.”
And my morning was not yet over because I still had to answer the office manager’s simple question of “And what are the names of your fur kids?”
“Well, one is Seven.”
Her pen paused as she peered upward at me.
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Like the number.”
She filled in the name and moved to the second round of paperwork. “And the other one?”
“Uhmm, Thirteen.” And with her second look, I added, defensively, “I have math kids.”
We look like a normal family.