In my extra time, I am substitute teaching at a local school. My first day, I walked into a junior high classroom, prepared for chaos, as I remember my school days well.
And one student asked me even before the bell rang, “Is this your first time subbing?”
Which I took as the child probing for a weakness.
“My first time here,” I responded with outward carelessness. “I also teach college classes.”
“Oh,” the student responded. “Then you are used to mean kids.”
And that I took as a warning.
I am in the last few weeks of the first semester, so I have been inundated with essays. And sometimes I feel like my brain only works at a quarter of its usual capacity during those weeks.
Apparently, I am not the only one who questions my reasoning ability.
Because when I called a local barbecue restaurant to order carry-out, a place from which I have never ordered carry-out, I asked, “Where should I go to pick the order up?”
I was asking — I thought obviously — if I should approach the bar or find another area of the restaurant, some establishments even have a separate door.
But the voice on the other end answered, “At the restaurant.”
Yeah, thanks for explaining that I should pick up a carry-out order at the same restaurant from which I am ordering, but I’m not exactly that dumb.
Not yet, anyway.
I do have another week left of grading, though, so . . .
Fingers crossed.
The Grown-Up 